I AM Ironman

This is fun - now that we use the Cooperative Patent Classification System (CPC), I get to see a lot more exoskeletons. Eventually I knew I'd run across everyone's favorite billionaire genius. Mr. Stark, I hope you've patented the suit. (Based on the chest plate, this one might actually belong to Pepper).

US Publication 2016/0016309, Motion system with plurality of stewart platform based actuators

Oh, the Humiliation.

One of the best parts about not having cable at my place is that visiting home is a mini-television treat in that I get to watch truly trashy TV like QVC, HSN, and this past weekend, TruTV (the erstwhile Court TV), where we ran across a "20 Dumbest Smartest Patents" marathon.

In the second or third hour, they featured a - you guessed it - umbrella. But not just any umbrella. This one seemed eerily familiar, like I had seen it before. After a little research, I'm proud to say that I can now add TruTV to my list of public appearances for a patent that I granted.

While I can't find the clip directly from the show, here's one that is pretty close, as well as the inventor's original ad on YouTube for his product. Take a look at the comments for both videos - Mr. Banerjee is quite the proud and protective daddy of his umbrella. It does not look like he's still in business, more's the pity.

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present US 8297295, Multi-fold umbrella combined with writing implement or cosmetic case:

The Ramblin' Man himself

Leon Redbone?!? Leon Redbone!!

Came across this one a few days ago. Turns out that even old-timey musicians and erstwhile "Leon the Snowman" vocalists have great ideas. I didn't believe it at first - neither name is especially unique, but the combination, well that begs the question - could it be?

After a little digging (google Leon Redbone Lahaska, PA) - I have to conclude that this is indeed the man. Buy something from his store and you're sending your money to the same address.

Heartbreakingly, he has recently retired from performing and recording. I missed my chance to see him a few years ago in Alexandria.

So here's Mr. Redbone's Patent: US 6186453, Foot Adjustable Levelers:

I ride bikes.

So I keep up on the latest bike-related tech. My man Ray Maker (and his editor Randy Cantu) is a great source, as well as the crew over at Bike Rumor.

As I noted below in the signal gloves entry, "innovation" in cycling seems to repeat itself. Just like fashion: wait long enough and whatever you've got stuffed in your closet, eventually it'll be stylish again. That cutting edge gadget you had will be somebody's new discovery..

Like the Hövding, an inflatable bike helmet for those ever-hair-conscious Swedes. While the newest iteration of the device relies on accelerometers and the like to actuate it, the general idea has been around since at least 1987:

US Patent 4685151, Motorcycle Safety Apparel:

Kia needs to make one of these in "Hamster"

I'm looking for a motorcycle canopy today, so I get to see a lot of related vehicular covers.

Like this one: US Application Publication 2011/0109119, Aesthetically Enhanced Vehicle Cover, which dues to its complete awesomeness, gets multiple images:

Also awesome? Car Bubble Wrap.

The Original Slip'n'Slide?

Ran across this one in a totally unrelated search this morning - went ahead and looked at the rest of the subclass (472/117, Amusement Devices:BODY SLIDE:Water Slide, in case you wondered). It turns out that this is the earliest one for a flat, wet slide (there are earlier, but are of the inclined slide type)

So here it is, I assume, the earliest patent for a generation of head-and-neck injuries, drunk frat-guy hijinks, and a bunch of grass-stained kids.

US Patent 2982547, Aquatic Play Equipment:

Let's settle the Over-Under TP debate.

The Huffington Post reported about a patent a while back. As an avid HuffPo reader and frequent user of the product in question, it struck my fancy.

This is the patent mentioned, but a little exploration yields several earlier, patents of interest - looks like Mr. Wheeler and Mr. Hicks were fierce competitors!

However, Mr. Wheeler seems to have had a niche, and he has the oldest patent that I can find.

US Patent 333,183 (December 29, 1885): Wrapping and Toiler Paper.

As you can see, he clearly shows the roll as being in the "over" configuration - the free end should ALWAYS come from the top or front of the roll. Even the inventor of perforated bumwad thought so.

In case you thought I was straying out of my field today.

You love sports.

You love watching sports.

You love watching muddy sports.

You don't love watching sports in the rain.

Get yourself a Stadium Umbrella. It has a built-in windshield wiper (element 40/42/44), US Patent 5823212

There have been a lot of Bicycle Hand-Signal gloves recently

Unfortunately, before there were bicyclists who wanted to signal their traffic intentions, there were motorists who wanted to do the same, and the turn signal hadn't been invented yet.

US Patent 1496484,  "Hand signal for motor vehicles", which is actually pretty cool - you touch your fingers together (at b) to complete the circuit and turn on on the signal.

Jean-Claude van Damme could do...

The splits.

Now you can too, with your very own Leg Stretching Apparatus.

US Patent 4456247

Climbing on your woman is not a good idea.

But climbing on your naked lady ladder, that's a different story.

This one belonged to a good friend of mine who examines over in the ladder field. It didn't get a patent, but did make the rounds in the office - funny ones always do!

Colleen, this one's for you. US Application Publication 2009/0014398.

Camouflage is great, but a good blind is better.

Especially when it's the Head-Blind.

US Application Publication 2005/0081272, the Camouflage Hood Assembly. It never got a patent.

If you loved your bellbottoms, you needed this.

It's the Disco-tastic version of the bustle, updated for the highest fashion of the 1970s.

US Patent 3877079, "Method for making an article conformable to a variably shaped cylindrical surface"

Yessuh.

Unbelievable. The things I find in the oldest corners of my art. 

Presenting Mr. William J. Lynch's Improvement in Supporters for Cotton-Pickers.

US Patent 173100

One of MY Very Own!

Once in a while, you'll see me staring at something (usually an umbrella or tent, okay, we're not talking about the other things I stare at) and most of the time it's just because it is a device that I've seen before in the patent database. But every so often, it's really - REALLY - familiar. And that's because it's one that I issued. Even better is when it's covered in a national medium like a popular magazine...

So, for the first time on GMABC, here's one of my own little patent babies, as touted by my boys over at Men's Journal, US Patent 8360082. This one took a lot of work to get all the details right before I was able to issue it, so it's especially satisfying.

Redneck Wheelchair

I ran across this one and to be honest, was shocked that I hadn't seen something like it before.

I present... The Redneck Wheelchair (aka Boudreau's pride and joy), US Patent 4575113

See, what it is, is... A lawn chair with wheels so Grampy can get around the trailer as quick as a greased gopher!

Lest anyone wonder...

The 80s were better. Even the musicians were smarter!

If you wanna play Eruption, it helps to have your Musical Instrument Support, US Patent 4656917

If you're a Smooth Criminal, you'll look the part with your Method and means for creating anti-gravity illusion, US Patent 5255452

Bonus! Peepee Crutches!

Just so I'm not accused of misogyny, here's the male analog to the booby cart:

U.S. Patent  7743778:

Thank goodness he's not anatomically correct!

A WHAT?

I'm not going to type the name out. See for yourself.

I have to assume it's what we like to call a "term of art". A long-forgotten, definitely politically incorrect term.

... and Booby Carts

So here it is. It's too bad that there's a necessity for a device like this, but it's still pretty funny...

US Patent Application 2006/0011228, affectionately known as the Booby Cart.

A brief overview of the device from the side.