In case you thought I was straying out of my field today.

You love sports.

You love watching sports.

You love watching muddy sports.

You don't love watching sports in the rain.

Get yourself a Stadium Umbrella. It has a built-in windshield wiper (element 40/42/44), US Patent 5823212

There have been a lot of Bicycle Hand-Signal gloves recently

Unfortunately, before there were bicyclists who wanted to signal their traffic intentions, there were motorists who wanted to do the same, and the turn signal hadn't been invented yet.

US Patent 1496484,  "Hand signal for motor vehicles", which is actually pretty cool - you touch your fingers together (at b) to complete the circuit and turn on on the signal.

Jean-Claude van Damme could do...

The splits.

Now you can too, with your very own Leg Stretching Apparatus.

US Patent 4456247

Climbing on your woman is not a good idea.

But climbing on your naked lady ladder, that's a different story.

This one belonged to a good friend of mine who examines over in the ladder field. It didn't get a patent, but did make the rounds in the office - funny ones always do!

Colleen, this one's for you. US Application Publication 2009/0014398.

Camouflage is great, but a good blind is better.

Especially when it's the Head-Blind.

US Application Publication 2005/0081272, the Camouflage Hood Assembly. It never got a patent.

If you loved your bellbottoms, you needed this.

It's the Disco-tastic version of the bustle, updated for the highest fashion of the 1970s.

US Patent 3877079, "Method for making an article conformable to a variably shaped cylindrical surface"

Yessuh.

Unbelievable. The things I find in the oldest corners of my art. 

Presenting Mr. William J. Lynch's Improvement in Supporters for Cotton-Pickers.

US Patent 173100