I ride bikes.

So I keep up on the latest bike-related tech. My man Ray Maker (and his editor Randy Cantu) is a great source, as well as the crew over at Bike Rumor.

As I noted below in the signal gloves entry, "innovation" in cycling seems to repeat itself. Just like fashion: wait long enough and whatever you've got stuffed in your closet, eventually it'll be stylish again. That cutting edge gadget you had will be somebody's new discovery..

Like the Hövding, an inflatable bike helmet for those ever-hair-conscious Swedes. While the newest iteration of the device relies on accelerometers and the like to actuate it, the general idea has been around since at least 1987:

US Patent 4685151, Motorcycle Safety Apparel:

Kia needs to make one of these in "Hamster"

I'm looking for a motorcycle canopy today, so I get to see a lot of related vehicular covers.

Like this one: US Application Publication 2011/0109119, Aesthetically Enhanced Vehicle Cover, which dues to its complete awesomeness, gets multiple images:

Also awesome? Car Bubble Wrap.

The Original Slip'n'Slide?

Ran across this one in a totally unrelated search this morning - went ahead and looked at the rest of the subclass (472/117, Amusement Devices:BODY SLIDE:Water Slide, in case you wondered). It turns out that this is the earliest one for a flat, wet slide (there are earlier, but are of the inclined slide type)

So here it is, I assume, the earliest patent for a generation of head-and-neck injuries, drunk frat-guy hijinks, and a bunch of grass-stained kids.

US Patent 2982547, Aquatic Play Equipment:

Let's settle the Over-Under TP debate.

The Huffington Post reported about a patent a while back. As an avid HuffPo reader and frequent user of the product in question, it struck my fancy.

This is the patent mentioned, but a little exploration yields several earlier, patents of interest - looks like Mr. Wheeler and Mr. Hicks were fierce competitors!

However, Mr. Wheeler seems to have had a niche, and he has the oldest patent that I can find.

US Patent 333,183 (December 29, 1885): Wrapping and Toiler Paper.

As you can see, he clearly shows the roll as being in the "over" configuration - the free end should ALWAYS come from the top or front of the roll. Even the inventor of perforated bumwad thought so.

In case you thought I was straying out of my field today.

You love sports.

You love watching sports.

You love watching muddy sports.

You don't love watching sports in the rain.

Get yourself a Stadium Umbrella. It has a built-in windshield wiper (element 40/42/44), US Patent 5823212

There have been a lot of Bicycle Hand-Signal gloves recently

Unfortunately, before there were bicyclists who wanted to signal their traffic intentions, there were motorists who wanted to do the same, and the turn signal hadn't been invented yet.

US Patent 1496484,  "Hand signal for motor vehicles", which is actually pretty cool - you touch your fingers together (at b) to complete the circuit and turn on on the signal.

Jean-Claude van Damme could do...

The splits.

Now you can too, with your very own Leg Stretching Apparatus.

US Patent 4456247

Climbing on your woman is not a good idea.

But climbing on your naked lady ladder, that's a different story.

This one belonged to a good friend of mine who examines over in the ladder field. It didn't get a patent, but did make the rounds in the office - funny ones always do!

Colleen, this one's for you. US Application Publication 2009/0014398.

Camouflage is great, but a good blind is better.

Especially when it's the Head-Blind.

US Application Publication 2005/0081272, the Camouflage Hood Assembly. It never got a patent.

If you loved your bellbottoms, you needed this.

It's the Disco-tastic version of the bustle, updated for the highest fashion of the 1970s.

US Patent 3877079, "Method for making an article conformable to a variably shaped cylindrical surface"